


Not Gonna Let You Go

by Ricochet713



Series: Tumblr Prompt Ficlets [6]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Platonic Relationships, Tumblr Prompt, but its implied that it could grow into something else later, im so bad at tagging these, platonic cus Jesse is still kinda young and i dont do underage relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9248723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ricochet713/pseuds/Ricochet713
Summary: Jesse loses his arm when a mission turns bad, and Gabriel tries to comfort him in the aftermath.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was a ficlet prompted by alex-pxrrish on tumblr. I'm not always a huge fan of McReyes as it's often portrayed with Jesse as underage, so I've kept their relationship in this fic platonic. I tried to include some undertones of a potentially intimate relationship developing between the two of them. Posting this ficlet on here because it was pretty popular on tumblr and people seemed to like it. Might look into writing some more McReyes with a slightly older Jesse if people are keen for it.  
> Enjoy! And please leave a comment if you like it!

Gabriel had been the first to reach Jesse after the explosion. A shrapnel bomb, he’d realised later. One of the hostages Jesse had been leading out of the crumbling building had stepped on it. Jesse’s left arm had still been on their shoulder; the hostage had taken most of the damage, but Jesse’s arm had taken the rest. The flesh was mangled and cut right to the bone, pieces of metal sunk into muscle and tissue, the whole limb bathed in blood. The way he screamed when Gabriel tied the make-shift tourniquet above his elbow wouldn’t leave his head for many years after the fact.

The three-hour carrier ride back to HQ was the worst in his life so far. Gabriel remained by Jesse’s side the entire time, holding the hand of his still-intact arm, trying feebly to reassure him as he drifted in-and-out of consciousness, sobbing and shouting from the pain.

_You’re ok, kid… You’re gonna be ok… I’m not gonna let you go anywhere… I swear it…_

When they’d finally arrived at the base and gotten Jesse to the medbay, the look on Angela’s face confirmed Gabriel’s suspicions.

“The damage is too extensive,” she’d told him. “The arm will need to be removed, immediately.”

Gabriel had tried to hold Jesse still, his throat so worn from the screaming that all he could offer were soundless rasps rattling deep in his chest. He hadn’t looked away as Angela made the cut, wanted to burn the image into his mind.

_You failed him. You let this happen to him._

It was until hours later that Jesse woke up. He was still pumped full of painkillers to help numb the pain, his pupils blown wide, tongue thick when he tried to speak. Gabriel hadn’t left his side since the surgery, had sat beside the cot in a small chair with his elbows on his spread knees and his head in his hands, playing everything through his mind over and over again. The mission, the sound of the explosion, Jesse’s screams…

“B-boss…?”

He looked up to see Jesse’s head turned towards him, face still smeared with dried blood. It was difficult not to glance down at the stump of his left arm, but Gabriel resisted, instead keeping his eyes on Jesse’s face as he rose.

“Hey, kiddo…” His voice cracked, wavered. “How you holding up?”

Jesse blinked up at him; his lip quivered, and his eyes seemed watery. “I… I’m sorry… Boss, I… I fucked up bad… didn’t I…?”

“No, kid, no, it wasn’t your fault…” _It was mine. I should’ve been looking out for him_. “You did fine…”

He tried to move and winced, his ruined left arm twitching. Gabriel stopped him when he went to look at it, put a hand against his cheek.

“Hey, hey, look at me, Jesse. You’re ok, you’re gonna be ok. It’s ok…”

Tears started to pool at the corners of Jesse’s eyes, and his body trembled. “G-Gabe… what… what happened?”

Gabriel bit his lip. Seeing Jesse so distraught was heart-breaking for him; the kid he’d pulled in off the street when he really _was_ a kid, that he’d raised and mentored like he was family… But at least he was still here. He leant over the cot, his face hovering above Jesse’s, one hand holding him by his cheek, the other pressed down against his shoulder to hold him steady.

“It was… a shrapnel bomb. Killed the hostage you were helping, would’ve killed you, too, if the hostage hadn’t been there. But… your arm…”

Jesse stiffened. He tried to look again but Gabriel stopped him.

“Gabe… please… I gotta see…”

There was a moment’s hesitation. “…Alright. Just… just don’t panic, ok? It’s gonna be ok.”

He leaned back, letting Jesse go. It took Jesse a moment to gather his courage, looking up at Gabriel to draw the strength he needed, then he took a deep breath and turned his head. A small gasp escaped him at the sight of the stump where his elbow should have been, eyes widening. Then he tried to move it, and when the remains of his arm doggedly responded, his breathing suddenly hitched, becoming wild and ragged, and he tried to pull away, attempting to scramble back on his good arm. Gabriel rushed back to him, holding him again.

“Jesse, sh, sh, I told you, it’s gonna be ok. Just breathe, ok?”

But Jesse’s eyes were fixed on his arm; every movement of it seemed to make him panic even more.

“Hey, hey, Jesse!” Gabriel took his face in both hands, forcing Jesse’s attention back to him. “ _Listen_ to me. It looks bad, I know. But hey, you’re alive, Jesse. You’re still here. That’s all that matters.”

The words and Gabriel’s presence managed to calm him somewhat. His breathing slowed again, the rise and fall of his chest returning to a regular rhythm, and settled back onto the bed. But the tears didn’t leave his eyes.

“That ain’t all that matters,” he choked. “How’m I meant to be a Blackwatch agent with… with…” He nodded towards his left shoulder. “I can’t be an agent like this… I can’t…”

A sob nearly cut him off, but Gabriel hushed him. “Is that what you’re scared of? That I’m not gonna need you around anymore?” He gave a snort when Jesse nodded. “Don’t be stupid, Jesse, of course I’m still gonna need you. You’re one of my best damned agents, arm or no arm. I’m not letting you go anywhere that isn’t with me, got it?”

He wasn’t prepared for Jesse reaching up with his right arm and hooking it around Gabriel’s neck to pull him down into an awkward, lop-sided hug, their foreheads pressed together. Jesse was crying again, but for a different reason this time, Gabriel suspected.

“You… you mean that, Gabe?”

“’Course I do, kid.” Gabriel could smell the salt of his tears. “Look, I’ve already talked to Angela about getting you a prosthetic. Torb’s gonna help build it. But I’m telling you, even if we couldn’t replace it, I’d still be dragging your sorry ass around with me ‘cus I’d miss you too damn much otherwise.”

Jesse’s arm around his neck tightened. “Gabe… thank you…”

“Don’t mention it, kid.” He made to pull back, and Jesse reluctantly released him. When Gabriel went to move away, however, he reached out to grab Gabriel’s shirt.

“Hey, d-don’t… leave me here alone. I, uh…”

Gabriel gave him a fond smile. “I ain’t going anywhere, Jesse.”

“I mean, uh…” It could have been a trick of the light, but Gabriel thought Jesse might have been blushing a little. “I don’t wanna sleep alone in here… Or be alone at all, actually… Would you mind…?”

Maybe not a trick after all. Folding his arms across his wide chest, Gabriel eyed the bed Jesse was lying on.

“It’s not exactly a big bed. And I’m not exactly small.”

"Please...?”

After a moment’s consideration, Gabriel gave up with a defeated sigh. No way was he leaving Jesse in here on his own, and he couldn’t exactly sleep in the chair.

“Alright, alright, shove over, will you? And no getting too cuddly, you’re getting too old for that shit.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Jesse grunted as he shuffled himself over to one side of the bed, allowing Gabriel just enough room to slid in behind him. The fit was tight, and after some awkward attempts to rearrange their positions, Jesse seemed to give up trying all together and just curled up against Gabriel’s side and chest, his left arm resting awkwardly at his side, at which he huffed.

“How’s that, kiddo?” he asked, looping on arm around Jesse’s back.

Jesse hummed, calm once more, pressing his cheek against Gabriel’s shirt. “Thanks, Gabe.”

“Don’t sweat it.”

“No, I mean, thanks for everything. For… you know. All the shit you’ve done for me, ever since you took me in. Would probably be six feet under the dirt if it weren’t for you. You… you’re all I got, you know…”

Gabriel sighed, staring up at the stainless steel ceiling; not a sad sigh, and not really a tired sigh, either. “I know, Jesse. That’s why I’m not letting you go anywhere, no matter what.”

Jesse tucked his head into Gabriel’s chest, smiling against the thin fabric. “Good.”

They fell asleep to the rhythm of Gabriel stroking Jesse’s damaged left arm, massaging the aching muscle until they were both calm enough to rest. When Angela came to check on Jesse’s condition the next morning and found Gabriel there with him, she simply smiled, set her papers aside, and quietly left again, ensuring the door to the recovery room was quietly closed behind her – it was about time they took it easy for once.


End file.
